I don’t say no enough, and I’m betting you don’t either. Saying no is not something most of us think is okay to do. I could get all philosophical here and explain why, but I’m blaming societal beliefs for it. We think that by saying no, we are being rude, ungrateful, mean and disrespectful. We may even think that when we say no we may be damaging the relationships we have with others. By saying yes, even if we don’t want to, we think we are being kind, polite, fair and generous.

Feelings are feelings. If you feel them, then they are real to you. Problem is though when you say no, you shouldn’t (in my opinion) be feeling anything negative. In fact, what you should be feeling calm, confident in your decision and positive that it is the best decision for you.

So, the question becomes, how exactly do you say no?

How to Say No, Mean It & Not Feel Guilty?

Simple. You. Say. No.

Need a bit more help? Open your mouth into an oval shape, place the tip of your tongue behind your top front teeth and make the sound nnnnoooo come out of your mouth.

Okay, so I’m being a bit too simplistic there. Saying no is a very hard thing to do. It can require some preparation and even on the spot reminders, such as:

• Knowing your value and self-worth – you, your skills and your time are valuable. Recognise that choosing your own opinion over others is a valid and acceptable option.
• Deciding if it is worth it – if you say yes, will it give you the same or greater rewards than if you said no?
• Plan some phrases ahead of time – if you are put on the spot, it can be hard to know what to say. Prepare some short no sentences beforehand, such as, “I’m unavailable sorry” or “Unfortunately I just can’t do that.”
• Be brief – you don’t need to give reasons why you are saying no. You don’t need to justify your decision.
• Understand that it is far better to say no now than to regret saying yes later on.

Unless you really want to, don’t leave the door open for another opportunity to be asked again. Saying no and meaning it is perfectly acceptable and a darn good strategy to be good at!