I have been up since way too early this morning. I woke up angry!

My dream had not finished so I still recall people in said dream trying to talk me into sending my kids away, which I quickly realise was triggered by lack of support last night by family regarding home educating the children.

I think this hurt has played on my mind more as it felt like a betrayal. The catalyst had seemed to be on my side the night before, agreeing how brilliant it is that home educated people are happily perusing what they love and how great that is…..and then voiced doubt with others present.

This really sucks!

For the past couple of weeks I could feel that myself and the kids had turned a corner. There was a feeling of content, flow confidence and understanding. I was starting to feel like I could let go of the second guessing I’m already plagued with (we’re our own worst critic) and trust that this “radical decision” to home educated was working. That I was capable to deliver learning opportunities and to support my children’s education.

My confidence had been hit.

Reflection

Whilst sitting in my own stew at 5am I notice my neck hurting & that my mind keeps wandering back to a radio advert yesterday for “Rescue Sleep” – talking about how it relieves stress and aids in undisturbed sleep by quitting the noise in your mind.

The kids started to stir and I could hear them playing in their room, happy. And I know that I can let go of the anger. Because although my perceived betrayal was one part of my rubbish sleep causing anger, it was definitely not the only element. It doesn’t take away from the fact that for myself and the boys, our current process is working and we’re happier now than we were doing what was expected.

We will do it [home educating] for as long as it works for us.

– this has been my mantra from the start of home educating & my way of placating “well intentioned commentators” to our life style.

The Lesson For Me

It is my choice how I react to any situation; what lessons I can take in and how much impact I give other people’s throw away (very likely never thought about by themselves) comments/opinions.

OK AJ I have read your waffling, how can I apply the lessons?

When we find ourselves taken over by doubt, causing anger, anxiety, overwhelm or total shutdown, it is important to step back and fully assess your situation.

Ask yourself

• What caused the anger? Dig deep and reflect as the trigger may have just been the feather that tipped the scales not the sole cause.
• Does it matter? Does the trigger/catalyst get affected by this incident? If not, they have no skin in the game and their opinions dwindle in value.
• If the day to day is going well, and you were happy with how things had been going, will you let an incident or opinion effect it?
• Is there anything you want to address? The other causes? For example my neck.

We can take control of how we react or not to any situation as long as we’re willing to reflect.

Got things playing on your mind that are slowing your progress? Triggering anger? Need help in reframing and coming up with a way to address it? Book a 1:1 session today. Don’t hold on to what’s holding you back.