When disappointment rocks your world how you react makes all the difference.

Here are 8 steps to make sure your reaction doesn’t shoot you in the foot:-

1. Take some deep breaths 

   Sounds easy but we all know acting in haste can lead to disaster!

2. Put yourself in the others shoes

   Yep, nothing in this list is new advice but you should keep reading just to make sure 😉 We are living and reacting in the world as we see it, with the knowledge and understanding of our own histories and our own expectations. Your view will not be the same as anyone else because no one else sees it like you. So when dealing with your disappointment takes some time to remember that a situation for you may not have even come up on someone else’s radar.

3. Talk to someone not involved but in the know

   Talking over with someone with the knowledge base but not directly involved can help put things in perspective and give you focus before approaching key played in the situation that set off your disappointment. Please note your spouse, best friend or cat is not going to give you the honest feedback you need.

4. Write down things that still need resolving 

   If 1,2 & 3 haven’t eased your disappointment, put onto paper (or digital form of your choice) what you need resolving and how you’d like that achieved.

5. Is what you wrote down fair to all parties involved? 

   Back to point 2, would you be content with what you’re asking for?

6. Ask to talk to others involved 

   As mentioned they may not even know there is an issue so bombarding them with your disappointment is completely overwhelming for them and will result in nothing being resolved and bridges burnt. So ask them for a meeting and give them the information they need to come to the meeting prepared to. Of course, at this point, you may have to accept that they are busy and don’t  have time. That is their prerogative and completely within their right.

7. Meeting with key people 

   Try and stay on point. Use the notes from point 4. Blame doesn’t help anyone, solutions do.

8. Remember that no one is responsible for your reaction but you 

   This is the reality slap! E+R=O, Event + Reaction = Outcome (fantastic formula from Kate O’Brien). You may not be able to control the situation (the Event that made you feel disappointed) but you are 100% responsible for your Reaction (in this case being disappointed), which = the negative Outcome. If your Reaction had been to accept the situation as a learning opportunity, what could the Outcome have been?

Any thoughts on this blog? Please add them to the comments & you can check out more blogs from AJ Pipe at www.aj-pipe.com or follow here on Facebook